It wasn't all that long ago that Madeline Levine, a psychologist with almost 30 years of experience, began to notice a change in the way teenagers were behaving. It was a fifteen year-old girl from a well-off family who carved the word "empty" into her arm that set off Levine's alarm, and she has seen more and more young adults bowed by depression, anxiety, and fear of failure ever since.
In her book The Price of Privilege, Levine examines this epidemic within privileged families. She looks at why anxiety, depression, and substance abuse are on the rise for teens whose lives seem otherwise smooth--they don't want for shelter, food, or love. But the pressure they feel from both their parents and the larger American performance culture is taking its toll.
Dan Gannon and Wendi Digerness, two of our Family Ministries staff, will be leading a two-part book group to talk about The Price of Privilege this winter. "In the last 10-15 years, there has been a tectonic shift in youth culture in a lot of areas," Gannon said. "I couldn't put my finger on exactly what it was, but Madeline Levine really did that with this book."
Gannon talked about the book's theory that kids who come from privileged homes are "at-risk" in a different way than their less well-off counterparts, kids who would traditionally be considered "at-risk." They come from families who are often driven and see education as the key to success. There is often a sense of nervousness from parents of these children, a sort of kids' arms race in which each family competes (not overtly, but it's there) with others in terms of what camp the kids are going to, what school, which AP classes, and so on. Levine's colleagues in similarly affluent places noticed the same things, all to deleterious effect on teenagers. I cannot think of a family at City Church that does not experience some degree of this tension, regardless of the child's type of school or parent's tax bracket.
Wendi Digerness added that parents often don't mean to start out this way. Most parents set out out to raise children who are successful. Hopefully, even outstanding. But often enough, parents get swept up in the tide of culture around them defining success as earning trophies, or high grades or recognition by others. Levine asks the questions: "What makes a child outstanding?" "What is success?" Our kids are being spiritually formed all the time at home, and if we worship achievement and performance, they will, too. For Digerness, one of the most valuable lessons of the book has been that "disappointment and frustration are good teachers. I should tolerate my child's unhappiness."
Parents of young children can definitely benefit from reading this book. While our kids are young, we need to be training our minds and creating liturgies for our families that will lead us into freedom from cultural pressures that run counter to the gospel. It can also help you to set up a mode of parenting now that won't require dramatic shifts later in life.
The Price of Privilege will be for sale at both campuses this weekend, or you can find it here on Amazon or at your local bookstore. Our meetings will take place on Wednesday, 2/26 and Thursday, 3/20 7-8:30 PM.